This is gay Joy from San Antonio, Zambales and I love you!

I'm finally home and reflecting on the last 6 weeks and came to the conclusion that enough unusual experiences happened that it would make for a good Ben Stiller movie.  I should have known it wasn't going to be the typical travel experience when it started with projectile vomiting on the plane after eating meatloaf at the hotel and left me laying on the lav floor for 3 hours while enroute to Tokyo and narrowly escaping quarantine.  Getting stranded on a remote beach, blinding myself with deet, ingesting ants that caused an allergic reaction, eating bizarre foods many with diarrheal results, getting stuck with the bill for Valentines dinner for 10, mass circumcisions were some of these experiences but the last one the day before I left probably tops the list.

Every Saturday I would host a party with food and drink at the beach for clinic and neighborhood friends.  They often would invite other friends which was great.  A bit of background from my perspective - the Philippines is a primarily Catholic country and appears to have conservative approach to the sexual dating ritual while at the same time very accepting to the homosexual lifestyle.  Seems a bit contradictory but whatever works.  At my parties it wasn't unusual to have gay or lesbian people attend and everyone was welcome that wanted to have fun and were nice.  The last Saturday there was a gay guy and a "lady-boy" (a lady-boy is a guy who dresses and acts like a girl) who I hadn't met before.  As a good host, I welcomed them with food and drink and took a few photos.  Party went well and didn't think much else until the next day when I started getting text messages from an unknown phone number ....

Text:  "Hi, how are you?"

Me:  "fine, who is this?"

Text:  "are you busy?"

Me:  "who is this?"

Text:  "how are you?"

Me:  "tell me who you are or get lost"

few minutes later

Text:  "Joy"

Hmmm, do I know a Joy???  Maybe I met a Joy working the sporting event in Iba?  Wasn't the lady-boy named Joy?

Me:  "were you here last night?"

Text:  "yes"

Thinking .........who can this be?

Me:  "are you gay?"

Text:  "no"

Thinking ........ I really have no idea who this could be.

Me:  "I don't think I know you"

Text:  "This is Joy"
  
Text:  "This is gay Joy"

Text:  "This is gay Joy from San Antonio, Zambales"

Text:  "This is gay Joy from San Antonio, Zambales and I love you"

Thinking .......... everyday someone is trying to set me up with a new single girl with limited success and the day before I'm leaving a lady-boy falls in love with me.  Now, Joy is obviously a guy acting like a girl and has a big silver grill for front teeth and really isn't my first choice for a date.

Me:  "well thanks Joy but I'm not gay and not interested but good luck"

Text:  "I want to come see you"

Me:  "I'm busy"

Text:  "what are you doing?"

thinking .............. geez, my last day and I just want to hang out at the beach and I have a stalker.

Me:  "I with my girl friend (not really but thought it would work)"

Text:  "what is her name"

Me:  "I'm busy and can't text"

Text:  "why, you don't want to text a gay?"

thinking ..... this isn't going to turn out good

Me:  "no, but I'm busy and I'm not gay"

Text:  "what are you doing?"

thinking ....... I'm just going to ignore Joy

Multiple texts:  "why don't you text gays"  "I'm coming to see you"  "what are you doing" .......

Me:  "Joy, I'm out of "load" (load is the minutes you buy for cell phones) and I'm not at home"

Whew, finally no more texts but I did look over my shoulder for the rest of the day.  I still don't know how he/she got my cell number but I think it could have been when I left my cell on the counter and busy with other friends.

I tell you, the Philippines is anything but boring.

My friend - Daniel

It was purely by accident I met Daniel.  My room in Felmida is about 12 km from the health center and needed a ride each day.  The first day the scheduled driver was a no show and I was late and quickly found a replacement.  I was unaware this would result in a soon to be great friendship.  Daniel drives a "taxi trike" which is a 150cc motorcycle with an attached side car or more accurately, coffin on wheels.  I negotiated a daily rate of 40 pesos (~ $1.00) each way but offered 50 pesos if he would drive fast and get me to work on time - later we would joke as he also needed to be back to Felmida and was planning on driving fast anyway and thus took me for an extra 10 pesos (which I would not let him forget until the day I left).  Daniel became my driver that day.  Later I would find out that the 40 pesos for each ride would result in only about 10 pesos ( 23 cents ) in his pocket after gas and maintenance costs.  Tipping became more frequent.

A little about Daniel:  He was born in the small fishing village of Felmida and has 6 beautiful children and an adoring wife.  I've not met a man who has more love for his family than Daniel or someone with such a quick smile and happy attitude.  He lives what he calls an average life but what I would view as modest and most people from the developing countries would say was poor.  Daniel has a good command of English as he spent a little over two years working in Saudi Arabia and Afghanistan for English speaking companies.  While in the Philippines he earns his income by driving a trike and, with his wife, operate a small neighborhood store.  Life is a struggle but Daniel is most concerned that he won't have the resources to send his children to college which costs about $500 per semester.  Like many local families, this responsibility is often passed to the oldest children who give up education and find work to pay for school for the younger children.  Daniel is considering international work again as at his age (37) he is too old to be considered for most employment in the Philippines.  When we speak of his taking a year long assignment in another country I see the heart break in his eyes knowing he'll be away from his family for such a long period.  Daniel is bright, articulate, honest, and caring but has no advanced education and thus, few options.  His children are adorable and exceptionally bright - the 6 year old does multiplication and speaks English.

I saw Daniel almost everyday I was in the Philippines and he introduced me to the neighborhood, Filipino culture and language, and the local area.  He also is tremendously funny as well as honest and would reprimand me for the lack of basic Tagalog language with an offer of help for me to become better.  We also shared a few adventures - one of which could best be described as a boat trip "Gilligan's Island meets Survivor" where we found ourselves on a remote cove and after some altered judgement, decided to spend the night (with no cell signal, no boat, and nobody knew where we were).

Through this time together and memorable adventures we became good friends.  I too began to worry about Daniel's dilemma of needing money to support his family and the children's education while still being able to be a daily part of their life.  It was then I decided to offer to pay for the tuition of any of his children that wanted to go to college.  It was clear that this was unexpected and overwhelming to Daniel that someone not family would offer this support and he wouldn't accept my proposal but rather suggested that if the oldest two were to go to college they in turn could help the younger children.  It's such a tragedy that children such as Daniel's are prevented from obtaining an education and lose the opportunity to reach their potential.

I hope to see my Filipino family soon.

Daniel's father and brother

Kids, oldest to youngest: Dhariel, Angelica, Dhan, Mary Rose, Reina, Dianne Rose

Stranded on "Giligan's Island" or Anawangan cove.

Daniel's trike

Videoke night

Soup #5 made by Daniel

Medical Mission 2 or "this is going to hurt"

This area was heavily damaged during the Mt Pinatubo eruption and heavy layers of ash remain requiring special vehicles to travel.

Four circumcisions at once.  It seemed better to have more than one kid at a time as they had to be tough in front of their friends but it still was painful for them and to watch.

Check in for medical exam

Lunch time

This was lunch

I was fortunate to participate in a medical mission for the people of San Marcelino.  There was about 25 health care providers and I would estimate a couple hundred people were seen during the day.  Some mixed feelings about these mass medical mission events - it's good to bring health care to people who might not otherwise receive care but I got the impression that many were there just to get free medicines.  There also was a circumcision event for the boys who customarily do this around 12 years of age.

Medical Mission Day

Leo ready to pass out the medicines

Sure we have Amoxicillin - would you like pineapple flavor?  Personally, I think the Philippines, like so many other countries, has a problem with overuse of antibiotics.

Weigh station followed by the que to see the doctor.

Still time for snacks.  Filipinos must eat every two hours to survive.  ;-)

Pick an instrument and pick a tooth.  Note the irony of the "gentle care" cotton next to the extraction tools.  Most people can't afford dental care so extraction is the only option.

After a few minutes of local anesthesia and a good yank ...

out it comes.

We went to one of the local neighborhoods to provide both medical and dental care for those unable to travel to the RHU for care.  It was an interesting approach and I think over 100 medical patients were seen and 30 dental extractions in about 4 hours. 

Stupid travel tricks

#1.  The insects are bad at night and I use a 99% deet spray to help with the bites.  I'm in the bathroom and figure I don't need the light on - mistake number one.  Spray one leg and rub it in.  Grab the spray for the other leg and apparently had it pointed the wrong direction and got a full spray in both eyes.  Stumble to the shower and rinse followed by two bottles of water to the eyes. Swollen, red, and blurry I figure it's the best I can do and go to bed.  Wake with red and swollen eyes but still can see.

#2. Next day: Snacks are sold in larger bags containing about 10 smaller individual sized portions.  After spraying my eyes, I treat myself to a couple snacks.  The next day after returning from work I'm hungry so I grab a bag and open it and dump half the contents in my mouth.  Something feels funny... I look in the mirror and see a bunch of small ants in my mouth.  A quick look in the bag reveals thousands of tiny ants have penetrated the remaining bags.  Quickly my mouth feels numb like a root canal and my lips look like a bad collagen implant.  Shit, I encountered a number of life threatening adventures along the way but I'm going to die from crackers and ants - this sucks.  Searching for options I find 50mg of benadryl that I take immediately.  Ahhhhh, I have 2% lidocaine with epinephrine for local anesthesia.  A quick calculation reveals that I'd expire from a complete heart block from the 1 gm of lidocaine in order to get an adequate dose of epi. 

I'm now headed to a party with swollen lips and tongue, along with tearing and red eyes.  I'm sure the girls will find it attractive.  I'm not sure how I survive these adventures.

Baby #2

I again was able to assist with a delivery and see the differences in practice.  This was a mother who had a prolonged labor with her first child and it appeared this was to be the same but with some assistance, the baby finally delivered.  A couple of differences were that there was a fair amount of manual external pressure applied and second, baby oil was applied vaginally.  I thought the oil was a bit unusual as the deliveries I've been involved with I've been more worried about dropping the slippery baby then anything else.  I was sure this one was going to shoot right out into the bucket.

External pressure

Note the baby oil - seemed to work!

Cord wrapped around neck but easily slipped over.

Seemed a bit blue to me but everyone was calm and she eventually pinked up with some stimulation.

Pig heaven for $125.00

The lechon party on Saturday went well with lots of good food, laughs, and videoke.  Most of the photos were deleted to protect the guilty.

Arrival of pig by trike

Here's looking at you!

4 hours of slow turning by hand

Party girls

It took about 5 minutes to finish off.