Sunday, January 23, 2011

Code Brown - where the hell did that elephant come from?

I took the opportunity to escape for the weekend and rented a car and drove to a mountain lodge on the southern slopes of Mt. Kenya.  Beautiful place built during the colonial times and since have added some cottages.  It sits on sloping hills that come down to a clearing where, on occasion, the elephants partake in the salt lick and then drink from at one time was a swimming pool but now turned watering hole.  I was fortunate the first night to watch a herd of about 25 with 5-6 babies come from the dense forest and spend about 2 hours just 200 feet away from the lodge.  At night the jungle comes alive with all the night life and is eerily loud.  No electricity so it is pitch dark and I've never seen stars like are in Africa when the moon is dark and no lights are on - just incredible.

Getting to the lodge is a bit difficult the last 5 kms as it is dirt, steep, full of holes and rocks.  On the way back home I was in my tinny little toyota trying to avoid getting high centered or stuck in a hole.  I come around a corner and on the road about 70 feet in front of me is a full grown elephant and a juvenile.  The pucker factor increased dramatically when a quick math calculation revealed that I could reverse at 2 mph and the elephant could charge at about 30.  Hmmmm, this really sucks.  I've been on safari before and I've seen the guide rev the Land Rover engine to get them moving.  I give this a try in my 90cc engine.  I could have farted louder.  Should I honk the horn?  Nah, this would probably just piss them off and result in a worse situation.  I just sit tight and after about 10 minutes they finally move on and I pass without incident.

As frightening as this situation was, it wasn't nearly as dangerous as the drive down.  Just north of where I am a crop called "mira" is grown.  It's a bush and when chewed, causes a stimulant with mild hallucinatory effects.  You can tell the guys who chew mira as their eyes are buggering out, blink about once every two minutes, talk a mile a minute, and constantly cram more leaves in their mouth.  This is a lucrative crop and is exported to the Arab countries.  So, these stoned guys load a pick-up truck to about 20 feet tall and head to Nairobi down the treacherous road.  Usually on the wrong side of the road, going 150kph, horn blaring, eyes wide, green crap dripping from their mouth.  Appraently the mira drivers are well known to cause many accidents.  Give me the elephant any day over these lunatics.

I'm a lucky bastard.  I wonder how many lives I have left?

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